Thank you; may I please have another?

This week a student made an appointment to talk about last semester's final exam. I I braced myself for a grade debate. I pulled the final out of the file cabinet, located the appropriate key, and readied the excel file.

Imagine my surprise when the student walked in with a big smile, plopped down in the office chair, and just wanted to chat about the exam.

Seriously. They thought the exam was "really neat" especially the fourth problem* which was "really cool because it was hard and stuff so I wanted to see if I got it right."





*I thought it was really cool, too, but I'm a little biased (and I didn't have to take the exam!!)

Moving on

Although I was very upfront with my students about my Visiting status, many of them still weren't aware that I would only be here at TempCollege for the year. Now that the semester is underway, it seems like all the students (especially the freshmen, surprisingly) are already planning out their future academic schedules. I've had to turn down quite a few requests to serve as a long-term advisor. I also put about half the class into a mini-panic when they learned I wouldn't be teaching them in the upper-level class that I'm currently teaching. I had to assure them that it wasn't anything personal against them or TempCollege; I simply had to continue onward towards my goal of getting into a tenure-track position at a liberal arts college.

I suppose that I should take it as a compliment that they were looking forward to taking a class from me again, but 9 am is just too early to face 15 frantic freshman.*





*say that five times fast!

New outfit?

I'll admit it: I watched the Miss America pageant tonight. I DVRed it, of course, if that makes you feel any better. Oh, and I drank a lot of beer.

But holy hell, do I need to get Miss Hawaii's talent outfit. She did this crazy Tahitian dance thing with this outfit that had feathers going out of her hips by, like, three feet.

I think N.A. would like it, although I don't think it would fit in the overhead compartment.

Switching Schedules

I am exhausted. My feet hurt from teaching for 5 hours today. My bones feel tired. Adjusting to the new schedule that the spring semester brings has been much tougher than anticipated. My teaching load is heavier, and my schedule is almost the exact opposite of last semester.

Still...I never had trouble adjusting to schedule changes when *I* was the student. Why should it be so difficult now?

First day conversation

UR: Okay, so I will see you all next time. Don't forget to come up and talk to me if your name wasn't called from the roster.

Undergrad: Hi, Dr. R. You didn't call my name. My name is Undergrad.

UR: Right. I emailed you and your advisor back. You didn't make the GPA cutoff.

Undergrad: Yeah, I know, but I thought if I came anyway, you'd sign my add form.

UR: Erm, good effort. But no. You should leave now.

Incorporating MLK into the science classroom

School is in session on Martin Luther King day. Although at first glance, it might seem challenging to incorporate the legacy of MLK into the science classroom, but it can actually be really straightforward. In my classes, we are going to be discussing minority scientists that helped pave the way for future generations of scientists. Even though I'm reminded of my minority status in my field nearly daily, it still is shocking to read about how far women in the sciences have come in recent decades.

So whether you mention the contributions of underrepresented minorities in the sciences directly in class or through an email, consider incorporating a bit of this into your lectures during this very historical week.




Oh, and happy end-of-Bush week!!!!

If Mommy says no....

...then just talk to your advisor!

Let's say that Mommy won't let you into her class. Now Mommy's reasons for not letting you enroll are very silly indeed. Who has ever heard of departmental policies? And why would it matter if you didn't learn all the material properly in the first part of the class? Silly Mommy. No.... bad Mommy.

So what is a poor student to do? Go run to your advisor who, if he is a very good, erm, Daddy, he will send Mommy a very firm (and borderline offensive) email (with you cc'd on it!!) outlining what a nice student you are, what potential you have, and just how much you really want to grow up and be a doctor, just like Grandpa.




I just love it when other faculty members try to undermine MY course policies (and authority) under the guise of being student advocates. Please. If they were really going to act in the student's best interests, they would advise the student to find a new course of study rather than fail a SECOND course in my department.

If I could sell it on eBay, I would

FemaleScienceProfessor recently blogged about name preferences. In the comment thread, a new discussion came about from Scientista's comment. Here's an excerpt:

"One of my profs, let's call him B, said something really inappropriate in class the other day that made me think of this blog. I was responding to an email on my Blackberry (in fact writing to another prof) during his lecture, and he comes next to me as he handing out a reading assignment and says "What, you're writing to your girlfriends to tell them how attractive the shirt I'm wearing today is?". I found that really rude: what, because I am a girl, the only subject of my emails can be boys, and in particular, him? "

I won't post the back-and-forth that ensued (but really, go read it!! Starts at 1/12 08:42 pm), and I also won't post my initial reaction (contains language that even I won't post here).

Scientista's comment did get me thinking about cell phones in the classroom. I don't want to hear a ringtone during lecture. Trust me: if I could sell them on eBay, I would. During exams, they must be completely off and stowed in a backpack; if I see them on their person, it is my prerogative to report them to the honor board (per my syllabus and the honor statement on the front of the exam). So far, my students have complied with minimal incident.

My colleagues often express surprise that I write in a no cell phone clause into my syllabus. How could I be that particular? BUT....they tell me of frequent Blackberry use in their classrooms, and that the students feel entitled (yes, they have actually said that to a prof, with attitude, too; I know...I thought the same thing: AW HELL NAW) to use them when they are bored (no, seriously, go read the thread!!)

Give me a break. Cell phone usage, just like ANY unrelated task (knitting, suduko, other homework) is not only rude to the prof but also distracting to other students. (And for any of you offenders out there: YES. It *is* distracting to other students, and YES I can track eyeballs from my vantage point in the, um, front of the class.)

So students, by all means, turn off your cell phones and fully pay attention. Who knows, you might learn something.
Faculty members, by all means, put your foot down! You should not tolerate such rudeness in your class.

I'll improve, really!

Hi Dr. R, what's up? I know you know this by now, but I didn't get a high enough grade in [part 1], at least that's what the registrar said. If you could please let me into your [part 2] class, I promise I will try hard. If the department still wants me to take [part 1] next fall, I totally will take it. Just please let me take this class so I can be a doctor just like my dad.

Thanx,

Undergrad





Best. Email. Ever.


Okay, so probably not, but I, like, totally enjoyed the fact that Undergrad thought that department's concern was not that Undergrad learned the material well enough to continue on in part 2, but that the student received a passing grade. Since it's, um, you know, a competition among departments as to which has the higher overall GPA. Ha.

I'm sure you've gotten an even more fabulous email from a student, coworker, PI...take your pick. In honor of the start of the spring semester, please share below!

It's happening....

I look young, dammit. People get into arguments with me about how I couldn't possibly have a Ph.D. I get mistaken for a student ALL. THE. TIME.

Sure, I have gray-- no, white-- hairs that are more than 6 inches long. But I still look young, dammit.

Today, at the grocery store, I got carded when I tried to buy my pre-semester beer. "You must have just turned 21," said the cashier.

He was joking. You know, like when a waiter tells a grandma that she could be her daughter's sister.



Dammit!

Freshmen = fresh start?

Students here at TempCollege that fall below a certain GPA automatically come up for review for either suspension or expulsion.

I think that freshmen should be given an additional semester to try to improve (even those with GPAs below 1.0), but not all of my colleagues agree. I feel that students should be given another chance to show that they have learned from their mistakes. Pick classes that are a better fit, take advantage of academic resources, and show a bit of maturity. If grades don't improve, then enforce a suspension.

What do you think? Do you think freshmen that can't cut it their first semester will never make it? Sure, not everyone belongs in college, and some students will never adjust. Or do you think that giving them another chance might result in a changed student?

First real vacation

I've been talking to a lot of other first-year professors this week. All of us are sporting the same dumb grin.

You know, the kind of grin a little kid has when he's gotten away with something.

Why the silly grins? For the last many (manymanymany) years, we've had a month "off" at Christmas. For those of us who had to fly home for the holidays, this "month" meant we got to watch as the campus emptied while we ran our gels / crunched numbers / wrote more paragraphs. We flew home as close to the 25th as we dared. If we were feeling especially rebellious that particular year, we might take a whole six days off. Of course, each of those days you were (at the very least) still checking your work email multiple times a day and catching up on literature. And for at least 90% of the time, we were plagued by one of the worst kinds of guilt: lab abandonment guilt.

So this year, I've had two straight weeks of vacation. Sleep-filled, guilt-free vacation. Likewise, my fellow first-year profs have had similar REAL vacations. It's a very odd feeling. I feel completely rejuvenated (who knew that's what vacations were for!!), yet I have this (tiny) nagging feeling that I've gotten away with something.


This past week, I've been doing some low-key semester prep (one class done, one to go!) in meeting interview activities. I still have another week before classes start.

I love my job.

interviewin'

Off to an interview. Back to a (semi)regular blogging schedule this weekend.

On fried chicken and twitches

N.A. and I drove about 15 hours yesterday. I stopped counting states after we hit the five-state mark. Here's a letter I wrote while on the road:


To whom it may concern:

Why did you look at a Kentucky Fried Chicken menu and think, "hmmm...this would make a GREAT buffet!"

Signed,

UR



In other news, my eye twitch has returned! Woohoo! My right eyelid flickers for approximately 30 seconds, every 45 minutes or so. Health experts agree that eye twitches are generally a result of some combination of dehydration, sleep deprivation, stress, or excessive viewing of road kill. I'm not that concerned.

I suppose the best thing to do is drink a bunch of water, get a bit more sleep (more than 11 hours???), chill the fuck out, and stay off the roads.

Guess I won't be driving to the nearby KFC buffet, eh?

A Pair of Packrats

Well, after spending the last hour in the basement with N.A., it seems that we have another thing in common: we are both terrific pack rats.

We had the typical things to go through. I voted to save all the religious stuff (he did not really want to), while he wanted to save all the school projects and boy scout stuff (which I wanted to chuck). Here's how it panned out:

Communion book (save). Teenage mutant ninja turtle action dolls (save....sigh). Baseball cards (save...double sigh). Binder of all emails sent to and received from previous girlfriend (toss). 8th grade school project (toss). Yearbooks (save). Microscope from 1960 (save). Boy scout handbook (save...sigh). ....and so on.


Over Christmas, my mom was prodding me to go through several boxes of old things as well, so it's not like I'm any better. (However, thanks to her ruthless yard sale skillz, Mom has gotten rid of most of the old toys and books already.) At least now I can get N.A. to help me go through them (woohoo for precedents!).

Once we have a house, I think N.A. and I are going to have to make it a yearly (or better yet, semesterly) tradition to take a half-day to try to declutter. Just imagine where our packrat tendencies could lead us once we have a little N.A. or UR! (I'm thinking only one thing here: storage unit!!)

Chillaxin' in the New Year

Perhaps nothing is more encouraging about a relationship than meeting the "in-laws" and realizing that

1. I am very comfortable with these people and
2. These people are awesome.

I've met N.A.'s family before. This is my second time in N.A.'s state, but my first holiday. I've been eating awesome food. I can sit with them and blog. I've slept 10 hours, 10.5 hours, and 11 hours in the last three days, respectively. Waking up at noon elicits no judgement from them.

Yuck, do I really have to start spring semester soon?

How do you fare with the in-laws (or "in-laws")? Did you ring in 2009 with them?