pets as children, part 2

Puppy is my child. Coworkers, deal with it.

Despite referring to Puppy (mostly in my head, mind you) as my kid, I promise to refrain from the following behavior:


- posting ultrasound / the-second-after-birth pictures of Puppy on facebook

- entertaining (read: horrifying) my coworkers with Puppy's successful house training stories....or accidents

- giving the hour-by-hour details of Puppy's twenty-four hour bug

- bringing sick Puppy in to work because Doggy Day Care won't take 'em until 1 day without a fever

- discussing every behavioral milestone of Puppy's




(no offense if you have done any of the above. I guess my dog just isn't "child" enough to me to blast facebook/work/the bus with it.)

pets as children

I've been watching a lots of Weeds lately. In one scene, Celia mocks a neighbor for calling their pets their children.

I used to be like Celia. (If you've seen Weeds, you know how funny that declaration is.)


But now.


Oh, now.


Now, I'm one of *those* people. One of those obnoxiously pretentious people who refer to their pets as their children. Who talk about their milestones with their friends.

But before you judge, consider this: my coworkers get to leave to take care of a sick child, do a day care pick in between classes, or bring a feverish rugrat to work. No one complains.

Do I get the same treatment as a child-less prof?

Of course not.

So for now, I will continue to talk about my child, Puppy.



What are the odds I can start complaining about not having PermaU-provided Doggy Day Care without anyone batting an eye?

Tenured but not promoted?

Tenure and promotion are two separate situations. I didn't realize this when I was at LargeU, mostly because there were not two separate committees to handle T&P.

Promotion is given based on what you've already done.

Tenure is (mostly) granted (if you ignore all the political BS) for what you will get done.


You can get tenure without being promoted. I am told that it happens, since the two situations are supposed to be considered independent of one other (in space but not necessarily in time).

....but does it actually happen?


If I got tenured but not promoted, I don't think I would stay around.


Still. I haven't heard of a case where someone gets tenured but doesn't becoming an associate prof. Have you?

Please put on some clothes

I don't understand it. As the temperatures rise, the air conditioning in the building blasts. I wear fleece jackets to the classroom. My fingernails turn blue. I drink tea.

Do my students bundle up?

Heck, no.

The guys sport shorts and flip flops.

The girls? Oh, good lord. What would you wear in a 62 degree classroom? Why, a skimpy tank top and a short skirt, obviously....right?



No wonder they can't seem to make it through one of my exams-- they spend too much energy shivering more than a chihuahua!

Do faculty get summer vacation, too?

My students seem to think that I get the whole summer off. Since they leave for a few months, the school must surely shut down in their absence, right?

The faculty seem divided when it comes to summer work. Since our salary is for nine months, some feel that they shouldn't work in the summer (actually, they refuse to work in the summer). Others view the summer as the only time to move forward on research, and so they work even if they do not have a summer stipend.

I fall in the latter category. My salary is more than enough to live on all year (we're paid in 12 installments, after all). If I don't work in the summer, I won't have enough research done by the time I go up for tenure. That is how it works at most undergrad institutions. Is it that different in the non-sciences?

What about you? Do you work when you technically aren't paid?

They coming a-marching...

freakin' ANTS!

I already feel like I'm half assing both my professional and personal life. If I'm working too much, I'm not at home enough. If I'm at home with N.A. and Puppy, then I'm not getting enough work done. What a cycle.

And now, ants. Tiny, mobile reminders of how half-assed my housekeeping is.


At least I have a few weeks before my summer students start marching back in.

Activate stealth mode

Each day that I leave work before 6 pm, there are a few things I have to do to ensure a smooth exit.

I lock my computer. I gather my papers. I put on my sunglasses.

And, most important of all, I make a phone call on my cell.


This is the only way to escape.



In order to get from my office out to the parking lot, I have to walk by a number of offices. If I'm not obviously engaged in a phone conversation (real or imaginary), I will get flagged down for any number of Really Important Reasons.

You know. Really Important Reasons such as the urgent need to inform me about their child's recent snot color (seriously), a request to for gossip about my department (they keep askin' but I'm not tellin'), or the retelling of the Worst Thing That Happened Today (usually minor... usually the third time I've heard about it).

As long as I have my cell phone as my shield, I can get home in a timely fashion.

Who knows what will happen if my battery dies or-gasp!- I leave my phone at home! I might never get to leave work.

Getting back into research

If you teach at a primarily undergraduate institution, then you know firsthand how challenging it is to get research done during the academic year. Resources are scarce, and most undergrads at a PUI can only commit a handful of hours a week in the lab...if that.

It's been so refreshing / stimulating / exhausting to be thinking about research again. With my research students on holiday for another week and a half, I have all day to myself to read, think, and write. The jump from very little research activity to fulltime lab work can be a bit of a shock to the system, as some of you have pointed out. For example, PUI prof wrote about her perspective in a recent post.


All I can hope for is a productive summer. It's hard enough to get funded in ANY research lab, let alone once just staffed by undergraduate researchers.*




*which is a post in and of itself!

Getting a kick out of graduation

Last year, I found graduation to be a wonderful end to the year. The music was inspiring, and I enjoyed watching my students achieve this milestone. I was terribly sad to let them go. I thought fondly on my favorite times in college. I was happy for them.

This year, the ceremony couldn't end fast enough. I wanted them to leave. I didn't think fondly back on my own college experiences. I was indifferent.


I don't know if it's because it's not my first time at the rodeo, I'm unhappy with my job, or I'm just burned out. (Or perhaps it's a combination of all three?)


Will my affection for graduation ever return?

Most wonderful time of the year (part 3)

Almost a lifetime ago, I though that the most wonderful time of the year was when I got to leave the lab to go to Home State for a few days. My favorite part was reverting back to solo driving, rather than sharing my commute:

No more playing avoid-touching-the-undergrad on the bus. (Duh, 'cause they're a little smelly and sticky. Seriously. There's this one freshman that always smells like bacon. Ugh)

A bit later, I decided that LargeU's Candidate Season, was the best time of the year. Squirming candidates? As long as it isn't me, sign me up! I wrote a trio of (very, very bad) haikus to commemorate the Season, including one I called "Haiku for an nth year":

Feeling guilty now.
Should really apply for jobs.
Just came for the food.

But now I've decided that the most wonderful time of the year is actually RIGHT NOW. Grades are submitted(!!!!!), and the undergrads are (mostly) gone. Summer classes don't start for a couple of weeks, so I've sent my summer researchers away to catch up on sleep or whatever those crazy kids do these days.

Today I sat in my office for four hours straight without interruption. With the door open! Ah, bliiiisssssssssss!

I'd better not get used to this....

Flipping tables at faculty meeting

I was watching reruns on Bravo the other day. This clip in particular always makes me laugh/shudder:




While the general public might find this woman's table flipping behavior completely shocking, I'll bet that it doesn't faze that many faculty out there. After all, don't we see similar tantrums in faculty meeting at least once a semester?

Of course, I'm partly kidding. No one would shout out "prostitution whore" at the university president or a dean, right?


Right?

To click or not to click

I'm pondering using clickers in my classes in the fall. I have never taught with them. None of my undergrad or grad classes used them.

I don't have an opinion about them. On one hand, they will save me work because the grading is virtually (haha!) instant. On the other hand, they will create a bit of work for me because I will need to integrate them into my lectures and write appropriate questions and answers.

Do you click? Why or why not?

How to tell that I have a LOT of grading to do

There are some telling signs.

My floors are scrubbed. The vaccuming is done. The fourth load of laundry is ready to be folded. Loads of laundry are in neat, folded piles in the appropriate dresser drawers. Dishes are clean. Groceries have been purchased. My kitchen counters gleam.


Clearly I have a stack of grading on my desk that is screaming to be graded.



But perhaps the surest sign? My bathroom is clean... even the grout in between the ancient tiles!

There's no crying in finals!

I've had students cry before. I've had students blur their work with their tears.

But goodness.


I gave a final last night. At 7 pm. On the last day of finals. I knew my students would be exhausted from a week of finals (and partying). I knew their nerves were frayed.

Boy, did I underestimate the situation.

As the minutes passed, the waterworks started. To their credit, none of my students broke out into full sobs. They all hid their reactions (no pun intended!) quite well behind their hair. (I did not have any males cry...at least during the exam.)

I think that if my exam had been on the first or second day of finals, there would have been far fewer tears. I'm sure that with a little sleep and perspective, they will all be feeling better soon.


At least until they get their grades.

Women under attack

A recent post over at Chronicle on young, female faculty as the primary targets of disrepectful students has gotten me thinking.

Several commenters on the article questioned the data in the article, claiming that one cannot claim that young women are more often the target of rude students than their male counterparts.


Um... huh?



Isn't it common freakin' knowledge that, as a young faculty member who happens to be a woman, I am more like than my male collegues to have students try to toe the line with me?

Of course, I don't tolerate disrespect in my classroom. I nip it in the bud. This is why I am viewed as a tough (but fair?) witch rather than a pushover. ('cause there really are only two views of female professors, right?)

I'll wear my pointy hat and carry my broomstick with pride, thankyouverymuch.



At least there is no texting in my class!

To review or not to review...

....is not really a question, at least for me.

I don't do review sessions.


I am thorough enough the *first* time I go over material, and I continuously review throughout lecture. I even take the first few minutes of the lecture period to review the material from the previous lecture.

So yeah. I don't do review sessions.

Many of my colleagues do, however, and several of them are quite vocal about my refusal to hold multi-hour review sessions the night before an exam.


What do I tell them?* That if they did it right the first time, they wouldn't need to give a review session. If you make it your mission to always help your students see the big picture and make connections between topics, then you don't need a review session to tie it all together.


*Obviously I don't say any of this out loud. But I do say it quite loudly in my head, particularly when they imply that *I* am the crappy professor for not spending my evenings reviewing for my students.

Taming the Talons

I'm pretty low maintenance. I rarely wear makeup. I usually teach in jeans, and I often wear t-shirts to lab.

I'm equally low key about my nails. I never get manicures (only once in my life!), and I never wear polish. I just buff them once a month, and I'm good to go. I let them grow until they click on the keyboard, and then I cut them pretty close to the pink part. Let me toot my own horn here: I have good nails. The beds are nice and pink, and the tips are very white. If I had yellow fingernails, perhaps I would put more time into them.

Some of my (female) colleagues spend quite a lot of time and upkeep on their manicures. I find painted fingernails distracting. I inwardly roll my eyes at bright red talons. Not sure why. But I do. Do I think that they are unnecessary? Absolutely. Is it unprofessional for a woman to paint her nails? It shouldn't be.


Students comment about professorial attire all the time. I wonder where they stand on decorated digits?