Smoking confession

I think less of students who smoke.  I don't understand why, in this day of Febreeze and good ventilation, that they drag themselves into class smelling of ashtrays.


I am puzzled by why my colleagues, who have advanced degrees and supposedly know better, maintain such a disgusting habit.  Why must you sit next to me at faculty meeting?  I don't even have to deal with such smells at bars anymore.  Can't I ban smoking at school, too?


Yes, I judge you for your cancer stick puffing.  Slap a patch on it already.

Most appropriate professorial accessory: pacifier or zit cream?

On one of my recent posts, Dr. McFabulous compared my facebook usage to that of an "exhibitionist teenager."

That got me thinking.

*Am* I like a teenager?    It's true that I have the occasional zits and emotional outbursts.

Come to think of it, so do some of my colleagues.  Perhaps professors are like teenagers!  Certainly some might argue that the seating arrangements at faculty meetings evoke that of a high school cafeteria.  We can be moody, detached, and--dare I say?-- hormonal.

Or perhaps faculty are more like babies, with their temper tantrums of very vocal demands?

Are your colleagues more similar to college seniors, those burned out darlings who have a penchant for not giving a shit and being very vocal about it?


So what do you think?  Are professors mature members of society?  Or are we more similar to our students than some would like to admit?

To Prius or Not to Prius

I'm thinking of taking the big plunge.


For the first time in eight years, I'm contemplating buying a new-to-me car.


I want a small, four-door car with good gas mileage.  I'm willing to go electric.  Or partial.  Or whatever.

I'm going to trade in my current small, four-door car with good gas mileage, and I'm willing to pay cash.  (Frugal Professor is frugal.)


Suggestions?

I promise not to send you crap

Anyone else on FB seeing lots of those really effin' stupid status updates about crafts?


I am not crafty.  But I  would love all of my FB friends to send me their crafts.  Without having to do anything in return.


So I suppose my status update will have to look like this:


Pay it forward 2011:  I promise NOT to send something homemade to the first five people who leave a comment here.  To be eligible, you must repost this status, offering the same thing to five other people.



In other news, has everyone stocked their liquor cabinets in preparation for the spring semester?

How much would you sleep?

If you had no life obligations, how much would you sleep?


I've had Puppy for more than a year.  Puppy sleeps ALL THE TIME.  Except when chasing squirrels, an activity that I, obviously fully support.


It makes me wonder: if I didn't have to scavenge for my own food, bathe myself, take myself on a walk, and have a job that requires a few more skills than just "ability to shatter squirrels," how much would *I* sleep?

At the end of the semester, I conk out for eleven or twelve hours.  What if that is my true sleep requirement?   I shudder to think how sleep deprived I am on most days!  Do you think my lectures are better on or off sleep?

Worst shows on television

I nominate $#*! My Dad Says. 






Your turn.

Are men more germy than women?

Perhaps I'm biased*, but I think that men are worse germ spreaders than women.  

Discuss.

*Because N.A. gets me sick ALL.  THE.  TIME.

PSA: Don't status update your job interviews

Like, srsly.

I have watched many a grad student or postdoc inform all of their Facebook acquaintances the status of their job search.  The academic world is small, my friends.  Privacy settings or not, what the hell are these people thinking?

I used to message these "friends" of mine to point out the error of their ways, but I've since given up.  Besides, it can be somewhat entertaining, particularly when you suspect that two of your FB friends are dueling for the same positions.



Some keep it vague: "I've got my first interview!"

Others feel compelled to list locations: "Goin' to the midwest and then the east coast for interviews.  In ONE WEEK!  What what!"

A few on my list name the actual schools.  That turned them down.  "Guess PrestigiousU is going to be missing out on one AMAZING prof this fall.  Losers."



What.  The.  Facebook.

Squirrels are taking over

...but you already knew that.

At the library, there are skylights above the study carrels.   These study spaces are my refuge, a little oasis of quiet surrounded by slightly musty books.  I can hide from students (and faculty) here.  I get my writing done here.

The squirrels are on to me.  And just like they have done to everything else that is good and perfect in this world, squirrels set out to destroy my perfect writing spot.

The squirrels run to and fro across the skylights.  What would be little pitter-patters on a normal skylight become giant, migraine-inducing thumps on these oversized plastic architectural "features".

The little rodents ignore my glares.  In fact, an especially fat one likes to sit in the middle of it, giving me a great few of his, um...stuff...as he eats...well....nuts.

Today I made a swiping motion at the little fattie.  Enough!  I will not let these squirrels ruin my happy place!

I swear he appeared to smile at me in jest before scampering away.



Leaving behind a pool of squirrel pee.



Bastard.

My Life in France

Thanks to a bit of a hangover and lackluster bowl match-ups,  I've completed my first book of 2011.  I am well on my way to New Year resolution success!

I just finished reading My Life in France by Julia Child (with Alex Prud'homme).  Even if you have seen the movie, it is still a surprising, delightful read.  Her love for her husband is inspirational, and I love how her joy for life is evident in each sentence.

Here is an example, from page 77 of Anchor Book's paperback version:

Usually one's cooking is better than one thinks it is.  And if the food is truly vile, as my ersatz eggs Florentine surely were, then the cook must simply grit her teeth and bear it with a smile-- and learn from her mistakes.

Almost makes me want to get into the kitchen!

My New Year gift to you

As some of you nurse your hangovers (CPP, I'm looking at you, darlin'), here's something to take the edge off.  I should warn you, however, that if you are prone to high blood pressure, you might want to save this link for another day:  Retraction Watch.


What a depressing year for retractions!  (Or great year, depending on your POV.)



Enjoy.  Time for me to get cracking on my first book of 2011.  I suspect that this first selection will go by quickly.

UR 2010 in Review!!

What a year!  (If you are really bored, here is 2009 and 2008.)



January:  Credit goes to all over the freakin' blogosphere, such as here and here and here.  (From "2009 Year in Review")


February: There is perhaps nothing more entertaining to students than a professor teaching under the influence of lots of cold medication. (From "Teaching under the influence?")


March: The hiring process is not fun on either side. (From "Googling candidates")


April: Last year, as many of you know, I was a visiting ass. at a small college. (From "Visiting Vixens")


May: I'm pretty low maintenance. (From "Taming the Talons")


June: Yes, prior to class so they/I can write on them.  (From "Should powerpoints be available to students?")


July: I hope all you Canucks out there had a great one! (From "Happy Canada Day!")


August: The Prodigal Academic has a great post up about the current state of the job market. (From "dying for your work?")


September: The reason I blog is _________________. (From "Friday fill in the blanks: why do you blog?")


October: The highlight of my week was _____________. (From "Friday fill in the blanks: the high point of the week")


November: The dumbest thing I saw this week was ______________ . (From "Friday fill in the blanks: that's pretty dumb")


December: This past weekend, something happened for the first time since October. (From "At clothing capacity?")




Was 2010 memorable?