You must not have gone to a public school!

...or so sayeth the CNN news anchor.

A guest came on the show to do a bit about NYE celebrations around the world.  At the end of the segment, the guest told the host some New Year's greetings in several different languages.

The anchor's response?

"Wow.  You must not have gone to a public school like me! I don't know any of those languages."

UR 2011 in Review!!

Another year in the books.  It's time for my favorite meme!   (If you are looking for something to do, here is 2010, 2009, and 2008.)



1. UR 2010 in Review!!!  What a year!


2. Choose your own adventure.  Have you ever woken up from recalling a vivid dream and then had it stick with you ALL. DAY. LONG?


3. What will we lock up next?  Today, driving around Conference City, I saw a car with a padlocked gas tank.


4. The machine or instrument that must DIE!  Over the years, I have had many an instrument or machine nemesis.


5. Kids vs. dogs (or kid owners vs. dog owners).  It occurred to me the other day that I have never seen a puppy sonogram posted as a facebook profile picture.


6. Chicken vs. eggs.  I've been in a documentary state of mind.


7. Magic numbers.  People say that three's a crowd, it takes two to tango, and one is the loneliest number.


8.  At-bat songs for professors.  Unfortunately, I've been watching a lot of baseball lately.


9. A message to all the new professors.  It gets better.


10. Sorry that I don't have kids.  I've recently become quite the broken record.


11. Grants require blood, sweat, and tears....and more blood?  No, really.


12. Do faculty need more vacation time?  When you are a professor at a PUI, you are constantly giving giving giving of yourself to your students.






I hope you can all look back on your OWN 2011 and think of it fondly.  What a year!

Christmas is the new Halloween!!

Adventures in Ethics and Science has a hilarious re-post of a child's story about what happens when mice go Christmas caroling.  (Semi-spoiler: It doesn't end well.)

The last bits of the post include

"Reading between the lines, I'd have to say the very best thing to do if you see or hear caroling mice approaching your door would be to kill the lights and call animal control." 

Hmmm.... that sounds an awful lot  like what I do during Halloween.  Well, at least the killing the lights part.  (Calling animal control on some of the particularly wild ones is just something I dream about doing.)

There are lots of other similarities between these holidays.  Behold!

Both freak out the religious.  Anyone else grow up having to call school halloween parties "harvest fests"?  And if I have to see one more Jesus cake.....

You wear weird shit to celebrate them.  Wearing bell jewelry of any kind should be outlawed.  Ditto the memo on slutty kitty costumes.  From holiday sweaters to dressing up like Dexter, you really do have to wear some weird crap to proclaim your allegiance to the christmas/halloween spirit.

The tackier the exterior of the house, the better.  Or at least I *think* that's what my neighbors are going for with their 12 foot, inflatable spider.  Or those damn inflatable snow globes.  Or anything in an animal shape that lights up.

You give away stuff to people because it is expected.  Do I really need to spend forty bucks on candy for non-neighborhood thirteen-year-olds?  Sure, unless I want my house egged.  Do I really want to give my surly coworker a holiday mug filled with chocolate-covered espresso beans?  Not really, but I'd like to avoid any 2012 drama.

You get a free pass on exceeding your daily sugar intake.  (I don't think this one needs explanation, which is good because my fourth truffle has just entered my bloodstream.  Pardon me as I lapse into a diabetic coma.)



How else is Christmas like Halloween?

My winter break gift to you

I know that, ever since receiving my gift last year, you've anxiously awaited this year's shiny box.

And here it is...all wrapped up and virtually topped with a green-and-red bow:




Happy holidays!!  (You've probably seen this ages ago, but I think it is hilarious to re-visit it!)

If I were a holiday decoration...

...then right now, I'd be one of those deflated snowmen that you find in the morning on your lawn.  You know, one of those fifty-dollar inflatables that fall victim to the elements overnight.

The late nights that come with the end-of-the-semester push have finally caught up to me.  Hopefully, after a few eight hour nights, I'll be back to my usual, inflated self.



What seasonal decor best describes how you feel right now (or wish you felt)?

Do faculty need more vacation time?

When you are a professor at a PUI, you are constantly giving giving giving of yourself to your students.  It's the best job in the world, but, particularly for introverts like me, by the end of the semester you can feel like you've been sucked dry.

Some of my PUI friends get five weeks off for winter break.  I know a few that barely get two weeks.

Winter break is important.  You need to rest.  Get recharged.  Brace yourself for the spring semester.



Is there such a thing as too much winter break?  ....and what is the humane lower limit for time off of school?