Over the past few months, I have had a recurring dream. I don't often recall my dreams, so when I do, I especially take note.
In my dream, I'm in a very large lecture class. One of those huge bowl-shaped lecture halls that can seat hundreds of students. The problem is, I've been skipping class. I've missed the midterm, not turned in papers, and I heard a rumor that the final was this morning. By the time I showed up, grades were already turned in, and there is no recovering my failing grade.
I'm done with my Ph.D. I haven't taken a class since 2004.
Anyone good with dream analysis??
8 comments:
Is there some type of responsibility you don't feel you're meeting? Or someone's standard you're not living up to? That would be my guess, but it's not as if I've ever been trained in dream analysis...
Well, here are the areas of life that I'm most concerned with right now:
1. Finishing up my research at LargeU, while not making The Boss feels like my post doc's level summer salary has been wasted.
2. Moving to TempCollege town.
3. Navigating the two-body problem with N.A. during this fall's job search: will I be able to find a job near N.A.'s tenure-track position?
ALL my scientist friends have variations on this dream for years after getting the PhD. Mine stopped a while ago when I realized caring about getting gold stars was getting me nowhere.
My impression is that we have these dreams because we've been in school most of our lives and we weregood at it.
Now we're out of school, and although there are no obvious goals or finish lines anymore, we feel like we're missing the Handbook of Unwritten Rules (i.e. for Real Life).
Hence, our fear that everyone else knows there was an exam, and a finish line, and we've somehow missed the newsflash.
So here's the real newsflash: you make your own finish lines now. Stop worrying about other people's approval, and figure out what makes you happy.
And then this type of dream goes away. And then your dreams get wayyyy more interesting.
Whew, Ms. Phd, it's good to know I'm not the only one having the dream!! It's funny because I've always been a planner, so I've always had a finish line. I still do: fall job applications (yes, again). It'll be interesting to see if the dreams change soon!
I have had the almost exact same dream for a while now. Except when I show up, it is for the unannounced final and I freak because I haven't attended class/turned in homework/done the in class exams, etc all semester.
I haven't taken a class since spring 1998. Good grief, I am old. And anxious apparently.
Oh, I should add that as of Sept., I am 5 years out from my PhD dissertation.
the mad chemist, I've had variations on that one as well. I hope it stops soon!
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