I have a lot of friends in various stages of the tenure process at PUIs around the country. In contrast, only a handful of my friends/acquaintances are at research institutions.
One friend in particular has had quite the productive academic career already (and I mean pro-duc-tive!). I have no doubt that many accolades and awesomeness are in store for him.
The other day, we were chatting about some of his academic successes. A thought popped into my head, forcing me to interrupt our conversation. "Do your parents understand what you do?" I asked. "Do they fully appreciate your achievements?"
I often wonder about the relationship of such research rock stars with their parents. Do their parents understand the rock star nature of their kids' careers? I have to wonder, as I don't have that problem.
This is a result of:
1. My parents are in academia.
2. I'm not a research rock star. Duh.
But seriously, what is up? For those of you with non-academic parents, do you have to constantly explain your work? Or do you just not discuss it? And isn't that weird?
12 comments:
My father was always extremely supportive. We discuss my research at length, and he does everything he can to understand what it is I'm doing at any given point in my research career.
My mother took a while to understand what it is I'm doing. Now, however, she is really supportive of my research.
Nobody in my family is in academia but everybody is extremely supportive. My area of research is very exotic for somebody of my origins but people got used to it over the years.
Interesting question. In my case, one parent taught at CC, the other was in NO way involved in academia. In the sense of what I do scientifically, no freaking way do they understand. In the sense of the politics and bullshit, they understand it better than I do.
I'm a sort of understated person when it comes to "successes" - but my parents are super supportive and love to brag. The only place this is a little tougher is publications, as they don't quite get how big a deal/time consuming that is. But fellowships, awards, invitations, etc they get all excited about and understand.
So, I don't talk much about my day-to-day lab work (other than in a vague/general sense they understand) but I do talk to them a lot about politics and personalities and the like, realms where they have a lot to teach me. It's only a little weird, as I have the same vague/general understanding of what my parents do, so I guess it evens out some. [My brother, who's in my Mom's *general* field has the exact opposite problem - and I wouldn't trade him!]
My parents do not understand academic science at all, but they understand money and institutional power. So they can somewhat appreciate how I'm doing if I explain how many people work for me and what my annual lab budget is.
Yes and no. My dad and I are very similar in personality. And he knows when he doesn't know things. I do have to explain things from time to time but rarely do I have to correct an incorrect assumption.
My mother on the other hand, is super sportive, is all about achievements, and doesn't quite get it. It's not academia, she's just not good at perspective taking. Her background is business so everything is filtered through that culture. What CPP said, money and power make more sense.
I think they do understand what I do, although it took a while to describe I have students in my classes, but I also have research students for whom I am resposnible as a mentor and as an employer; that keeping the group running does require many skills of a small business owner. The rationale behind grant writing took them a long time to digest (they thought the univerity provided money for everything related to my work).
My dad is a high school physics teacher and he will even periodically check out my research papers online and try to read them (he knows some English). We also talk a lot about his students and mine and share anecdotes. I know both my parents like to check out my group website, especially group member and collaborator pictures; this gives them a feeling of who I work with and I guess makes it all more real. My mom had administrative state jobs all her life and is very far from science; to her it's important that she can brag to her (nonacademic) friends about this or that award, and that I am overall "a success" (which pretty much to her equates with being a university professor in the US). She likes to talk about my relationships with colleagues and students, as well as academic politics.
My parents are pretty far from the academic world (my dad is in sales, my mom was a receptionist before she retired). They are always proud of what I do, and loved telling people that I was doing my PhD. But, did they understand it? Not really. I'd tell them the gist of what was going on (I'm observing, I'm writing a paper, I study comets, I'm doing outreach, etc.), but nothing too in depth.
I remember when I was writing up my thesis, my mom asked me if I had "handed in my assignment yet". LOL! Like someone else said, they don't really get what it means to submit a thesis or a paper, or how much time and energy it takes.
But, they are really supportive and really proud, and that's all that matters :)
Not a superstar but both my parents are impressed by my degrees. Coming from a working-class back ground my parents really don’t get it, but they have stopped inquiring about when I am going to get a real job. I shied away from honest hands-on work. I think my parents were impressed I went to university, but they questioned the point of studying something that did not qualify me for a trade! I don’t think they quite grasped why I got paid to go to grad school. I kind of like being the weirdo academic!
My dad's clueless. My mom is still wrapping her mind around it. My step-dad has a PhD in physics so, although he's in industry now, he has some concept. He explains what he can to my mom.
Neither understand my field at all. My mother "gets" the whole idea and is quite supportive. I'm no rockstar but I am mentored by a couple and she understands that this is a good reflection on me. My father on the other hand has no concept and even went as far to suggest that one of the rockstars who was interested in my work was "looking for a date".
My mom is a PhD too and I'm not a rockstar.
My mom is in the humanities though and she doesn't understand how my colleagues seem moderately sane.
My parents most definitely do not understand me. There have been moments when they understood that other people thought what I did was important (my Ph.D. graduation, when my research made the cover of a non-science magazine, etc.) but mostly, we don't talk about it which is incredibly strange given how important my work is to me.
I'm curious about further examining this subject -kids of non-academic parents. Please share any articles or papers you have come across (assuming you've done research yourself) that would enlighten or inform me. It would be greatly appreciated.
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