But what if you don't really have a personal sphere?
N.A. and I, both being academics, spend our non-home time at school. Some coworkers I click with, and some I don't. Some of my coworkers and I hang out outside of work. They come over for dinner. We go grab a drink.
The problem is, we inevitably start talking about work-- the good, the bad, and the really ugly. I want to have friends, but it is exhausting constantly talking about school.
I love my job. I may BE the job.
But for the love of the science gods.... I need a break sometimes!
8 comments:
I have the same problem. But I've found that with my current group of peeps, we have a tendency to cover a broad range of topics, both related and unrelated to work. The other thing about have friends that are co-workers is that they know where you're coming from, so less explanation is needed. But I understand what you mean about needing a break sometimes.
I would say that it's certainly not bad to have some coworkers as friends, but it's important to have some nonacademics around as well, for a break (like you said) and to keep things in perspective. We academics tend to forget how lucky and privileged we are to have jobs we love, that pay well and are (after tenure) secure. Most people don't have that, and I find it sobering to talk to nonacademic friends about their problems at work and remind myself how very fortunate I am with my job in the grand scheme of things.
Of course, there are plenty of topics such as family/home life, travel, movies, books, current affairs, that are lots of fun to cover with nonacademic and academic friends alike.
None of my close friends are in academia, and I do not socialize that much with colleagues.
This is a sharp contrast to the days when I worked on a farm and later in a bar/restaurant where I would work, party, and live in shared accommodation with my co-workers. College was much the same. It was not bad, but from grad school onwards I started to separate my life a little.
Sounds like you need a hobby or something like the Sierra club!
That said, what you describe is valuable as a form of mentoring and free psychotherapy. Venting is good.
Everything will be alright in the end
If it isn't alright
It isn't the end
biochembelle, you do bring up a good point. It *is* nice not having to give background info just to tell a work story!
GMP, the prospect of ever leaving academia scares the shit out of me. I think people are getting tired of hearing about my puppy, so I need to find a new non-work topic.
Dr. Girlfriend: cool, you have a social life. It is such a novel concept for me.
Dr. Pion, is the sierra club outdoors? 'cause in that case, I'll have to pass. :)
All of the meetings of our Sierra Club chapter are held indoors. Maybe Audubon would be better for you, since you can do lots of bird watching without leaving your house and they usually meet indoors as well. Or, given your interest in puppy, perhaps a Humane Society support group.
I think a mix is ideal; sometimes you want to talk about work things without having to explain all the background, and other times you want to switch off entirely and talk about hockey.
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