Why it is awesome being female (at a conference)

As you all probably have guessed by now, I'm woefully behind in my blog reading.

Luckily, I did manage to catch a semi-recent post by The Prodigal Academic about why it is awesome to be a female attending male-dominated conferences.

TPA points out that there are no bathroom lines when you are one of a handful of women at a conference.  So true!  In fact, at a recent conference, another conference attendee (a rock star Big Name) was so surprised to have someone else walk into the bathroom (me), that we actually struck up a conversation....which led to talking about my research with my students.  Awesome.

The second advantage that TPA lists is that, as a minority presenter, you are more easily remembered later in the day.

The third deals with presenting while pregnant.  You can read it for yourself, since it doesn't pertain to me (whew).

The fourth is my favorite because it happens to be true AND I had never really thought about it before:

4. You are easier to find in the crowd, so it is easier to run into old friends and colleagues at coffee breaks without necessarily prearranging things.  (link)

And TPA's fifth advantage to attending a male-dominated conference?  Well, let's just say it deals with getting free stuff.


So what about it?  Are there more advantages that should be added to The Prodigal Academic's list?  Or do the wee annoyances (you know, like being asked eight times in one afternoon if you REALLY are a presenter and not a vendor representative) outweigh these benefits?

What will we lock up next?

Today, driving around Conference City, I saw a car with a padlocked gas tank.

Wuh-what?

Is this normal?



I've considered padlocking the -80 freezer in the lab, but I've never thought to padlock my vehicle.


What needs to be padlocked the most in your life?

Best lab decorations ever: conference poster snowflakes!

Have you seen the snowflakes made out of old conference posters? There's a great example over at Better Posters. I believe Dr. Becca originally tweeted a picture of it.


I guess I need to take my undergrads to some more conferences. Once we can replace the posters currently on the walls, just imagine the possibilities. Large-scale origami cranes with references on their wings. Paper dolls made out of data. Graph-filled snowflakes.  


Do you think my dean will use "I need more snowflake material" as a good reason to fund my travel requests?

Cushy conference accommodations?

I'm on my way back home after a week-long conference.  Although I didn't travel with students on this conference, I typically do.

When I was an undergrad, we crammed into hotel rooms.  Four or five of us to a room.  Always shared beds.  Even as a grad student, if other female students from LargeU were attending, we shacked up together.  Often beds were shared.

One of my colleagues feels that undergrads shouldn't share beds.  But only two students to a room?  That's just not practical in most cases.

What hotel arrangements do you make for your research students?  

Drinking with students?

In grad school, it was a given that profs and students drank together.  After all, no one can work that many hours for that little glory without a serious cocktail habit.  (or maybe that was just me?)

If you teach at a PUI, the majority of your students are under 21.  I certainly wouldn't go grab a beer after classes with any of them.  THAT is frowned upon here.



But what about at conferences?  Drinking is an integral part of research conferences.  (or maybe that is just me?)

If an undergrad is 21, would you invite them out with a group of colleagues for drinks?  What about former group members from grad school?

Traveling more efficiently

The Reaction family knows how to travel. Every summer, we would do a massive road trip. I was >10 hours away from the Reaction family for both undergrad and grad school. I always chose to drive home for Christmas because I couldn't afford the airfare.

Let's just say, I have a higher than average tolerance for car travel.

Still.

I don't find travel by car very efficient. Take, for example, a 15 h drive. If I'm driving, I'm stressed mostly the whole time. I can talk on the phone in some states, but otherwise I just have music or conversation with my passenger to keep me entertained. If I'm the passenger, all I have is music, conversation with the driver, or sleep. I can't read in cars. Even looking at maps for more than 30 seconds results in major carsickness. Ick.

Now, let's consider the same 15 h distance covered by plane instead. True, going through security can be a little hectic. But otherwise, I find airports to be mostly pleasant these days. I can read, play on da internets, or watch people freak out when they miss their connections. I usually end up spending 2 hours at the airport. Add to that the travel time on either end of the trip plus the flying time (about 2.5 hours), and I still come out ahead by a couple of hours.

Nowadays, my rule of thumb is if a driveable destination is more than 10 hours, it is better for me to fly. N.A., however, happily drives 15+ or more hours rather than fly.

How do you decide whether to drive or fly? And more importantly, how do you convince a travel partner that your way is the right way?

Overheard at the airport

I'm back after a week plus away for some science-related stuff.

I was rudely brought back to reality with this airport bathroom conversation.

An elderly woman was using the handicap stall. Her daughter (or caretaker?), who was in her mid-thirties, started talking to her from outside the stall.

Daughter: Are you doing okay?

Old Woman: Oh, yes, dear.

D: So, I have your rings here. What do you want to do with them?

O.W.: Oh, I can't just wear them?

D: No, remember that they are falling off your finger?

O.W.: Oh, yes. What can I do then?

D: Hmm... well... Oh! You could wear them on your middle fingers!

O.W.: Oh. Would people think I'm a LESBIAN then?

D: Uh, no, I don't think that's what it means.



It was a good thing I was already in a stall because I'm pretty sure I otherwise would have peed my pants from laughing so hard.

A question for the masses: toeing a line?

I've seen a lot of gross behavior on planes. Tobacco spitting. Nail clipping. Nose picking. Questionable under-the-blanket motions. Large..um.... "presents" in the toilet.

But lately I've observed some (in my opinion) even more repulsive behavior: bare feet. Bare, naked feet being wiggled under seats, stretched out into the aisles, and, most horrific of all, rested on the arm seat.

Seriously. Is it possible that there is more disgusting plane behavior than bare feet on display?

On fried chicken and twitches

N.A. and I drove about 15 hours yesterday. I stopped counting states after we hit the five-state mark. Here's a letter I wrote while on the road:


To whom it may concern:

Why did you look at a Kentucky Fried Chicken menu and think, "hmmm...this would make a GREAT buffet!"

Signed,

UR



In other news, my eye twitch has returned! Woohoo! My right eyelid flickers for approximately 30 seconds, every 45 minutes or so. Health experts agree that eye twitches are generally a result of some combination of dehydration, sleep deprivation, stress, or excessive viewing of road kill. I'm not that concerned.

I suppose the best thing to do is drink a bunch of water, get a bit more sleep (more than 11 hours???), chill the fuck out, and stay off the roads.

Guess I won't be driving to the nearby KFC buffet, eh?

Independence?

For the first time since I was 15, I came home for a holiday and did NOT do laundry. (I don't think this is actually reflective of some new-found independence. This is a direct result of a purchase of a new washer and dryer.)



What did you do for the first time this holiday?

Instant productivity: just add tiny airplane seat

I've been gone all week at my first conference as a (semi) Real Professor. I'm happy to report that I've suddenly found my happy place: my tiny, tiny airplane seat.

I'm queen of small talk. I like chatting with strangers (yes, I realize that that puts me into that category of Americans That Most People Hate). But since I've gotten my Ph.D, my airplane conversations go something like this:

Seat 3D: So, is XXX your final destination?

Me: Yeah, but I have to drive to TempCollege Village.

Seat 3D: Oh, so what is your major at TempCollege?

Me: Oh, I'm not a student; thanks. I teach there.

Seat 3D: Oh.


I guess my life is (1) super boring, (2) no one wants to talk to a professor, or (3) see number 1.

At any rate, I now avoid the small talk trap altogether by keep my laptop out upon takeoff, poised to turn it on the instant the seat belt light flicks off. With typically three hours of gloriously uninterrupted work time, it is just sick how much work I get done.

It's no wonder. I have no email access, no open office door, no faculty meetings, no cell phone going off....ahh....complete technological isolation (well, except for Powerpoint).


Oops, there's my flight. Time to go finish my lectures for the week!

unfortunate urchins

I'm back from a bit of travel, including a conference at which I gave a talk. At the conference I saw something that I'd never witnessed at a conference before. I've attended, oh, somewhere in the ballpark of 18 regional and national conferences while I've been in graduate school, but I've never seen this:

Children at a conference.

Okay, so the reason I haven't encountered rugrats at science conferences previous could be because

1. People in my field don't have kids.
2. People in my field that have kids have supportive spouses.
3. People in my field that have kids have 100% reliable childcare.

Now one child I could understand. If a female was stuck with them, I would have felt sorry for her. But, double-standard applier as I am, I was mildly horrified that it was the father that brought the little tykes along. Yes, plural: two kids. To an 8 am session.

So if I was only mildly horrified by the morning munchkins, you can imagine my reaction when the numbers increased to a total of SIX kids by the end of the afternoon. We were in a largeish room with about 80 chairs for the 50-odd people in our session, but the noises of the kids-- slamming the water pitchers up and down, crumpling papers, chasing one another about, opening the door, shutting the door, opening the door-- was grating on the nerves.

Now perhaps I'm being insensitive. After all, isn't one of the challenges I am likely, as a soon-to-be female professor, to be faced with is finding reliable childcare?

"Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose." ~Albert Einstein

In the past 12 days, I

~ have visited 5 different airports

~ have been to 4 different states

~ spent 22 hours road tripping

~ flew for 29 hours for a total of 9,496 miles

~ have seen some family members for the first time in 3 years



I'm back! Once I get the numbers straight in my head, I'll be back to a regular posting schedule.

toilet tetanus

Well, N.A. and I made it through our first trip. More on that later.

Surprisingly, Sucky Airport International only gave us minor delays. The real problem with our trip was having to go through Nasty Northeast Airport (NNA).

I don't get along with NNA. NNA is the same airport I connected through on one of my interviews. It is my enemy forever because my first moment in the airport (in the bathroom, of course), I caught my finger on a loose piece of metal in the (only) bathroom, ripping a huge gash in my finger. Did I mention that I don't clot quickly? So I had to ride an hour to my interview, with just a paper towel around my bleeding finger since neither the driver nor I (and I always carry bandaids) had a bandage.

So you can imagine my apprehension when I was faced with the NNA bathrooms on this trip. Although I might knock SAI, I must say that it does have some pretty sweet bathrooms. (For all you guys out there, I define "sweet bathroom" as a bathroom that is clean, has lots of stalls, and doesn't smell like a dead squirrel.

NNA bathroom meets none of my "sweet bathroom" requirements. It's one of those bathroom that you just know you're going to catch a disease from.

....good thing I was up-to-date with my tetanus shot....especially when there's dangling metal!

An open letter to search committees everywhere

Dear Search Committee,

Please please please do not schedule breakfasts before 8 am. 7:00 am breakfasts mean that the candidate is getting up at least by 6:00 am (probably more like 5:30 am), and this is after a day of travel and/or meetings with all of you, the Dean, HR representatives, departmental secretaries, librarians, the school mascot, etc, etc.

(And the school that scheduled the 5:45 breakfast: shame on you!)

8:00 am breakfasts are more humane. A breakfast starting at 9 am is pure heaven.


Signed,

Exhausted Faculty Candidate

Plane karma

What goes around at Sucky Airport International (SAI) comes around.

Last week, I was, through what some thought was divine intervention, 15 minutes early into my interview airport. I was not fooled. This was not God's work. More like a Faustian agreement, for the Airport Commandments thus state:

If thee have a good travel experience out of SAI, then your return trip will be full of troubles.


I mistakenly thought that my return trip last week was the payback. I should have known that a mere 20 minute delay on the tarmac followed by a 40 minute crop duster delay was not sufficient retribution for an early SAI flight.

So today, after a very pleasant interview at Far Away state, I drove myself to the airport (~2 hours), only to find that my flight to SAI had been cancelled (still, this is not quite payback). I did get rebooked on flights that will put me in the general vicinity of LargeUtown (if "general vicinity" to you means a three hour drive). Then I got earmarked for "special screening." The pat-downs were so extensive (seriously, my boobs got felt up at least five times), I half expected the TSA officer to request me to sit back and put my feet up in the stirrups.

Still, this was not enough payback for the 15 minute early flight.

My first leg of the trip went pleasantly enough. Until I arrived at the gate and saw that my flight was delayed. By two hours. Leaving after midnight. Potentially stuck here in a Really Far Away state.

Now I think that I am even with the SAI flight gods.

Please?

delinquent!

Yeah, that's me. The delinquent blogger. Luckily for you (and not so luckily for me), in a few hours I will be in Sucky Airport International (SAI). SAI is world famous for delays, so I'm sure I'll have lots of blogging time. I'm going to far away state today through late Tuesday night, and then Thursday morning I'm driving to neighbor state for an interview that goes until Friday afternoon.

There is still much to report. I also need to catch up on all of your posts. I have no scheduled interview next week (yet), so I'm hoping to catch up on life (eh...well at least blogging) between now and then.

Exhausted.

Preparing for my upcoming job interviews (four in the next two weeks) has been surprisingly draining. Luckily, I'm surrounded by incredibly supportive people, including The Boss, Coworker, Coworker Friend...and even some new friends.

The sheer amount of time it has taken me to prepare my various teaching presentations, re-research the schools, and finalize my travel arrangements has shocked me. I happen to be at a relatively quiet time in my research (for the first time in, like, oh...five years), so everything has worked out without any major catastrophes or ulcers.

But it got me thinking. If I'm this stressed out applying as a graduate student to SLACs* then how the heck would I have dealt with applications to R1 schools as a postdoc, with less downtime and more responsibilities? No wonder postdoc positions seem to be running longer and longer!





*SLAC=small liberal arts college

Leavin' on a jet plane....or not?

The other day, I was innocently sitting at my desk, working away in the quiet since most of the office had left town for a conference, when I received the most ominous text from Coworker Friend:

We missed the flight.


Uh-oh. Apparently there was a mix up in their transportation (namely that Coworker thought the flight was later than scheduled, so C picked up Coworker Friend, et al. too late to make the ticketing cutoff time).

Coworker Friend handled it pretty well, considering. I would have come completely unglued. In fact, I sort of did, in the office, on CF's behalf. Something along the lines of "I would have PUNCHED Coworker!"

Obviously I don't travel well with others. I'm a control freak, so I don't like putting my schedule in someone else's hands. I have a certain schedule when I'm at the airport (get through security, bathroom, get coffee and sandwich, eat while calling people, pace terminal, buy reading material, bathroom, board) which does not have room for coworkers' slower pace or small talk.


At least I'm traveling alone to my job interviews next week!

End of the year meme!

EcoGeoFemme at The Happy Scientist and ScienceGirl at curiosity killed the cat tagged me for this meme.

1. Will you be looking for a new job?
Yes!! As of today, I have one campus interview and one phone interview planned for Jan. I'm hoping I'll hear back from my outstanding applications in the coming weeks.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
I loved EcoGeoFemme's response: "I'm always looking for new friends, especially women." From now until I leave LargeUtown in Juneish, I'm absolutely NOT looking for a relationship. (I'm not ruling out "boys for fun", however.) Focusing on myself this last year has been fantastic.

3. New house?
no. I will rent for the first year, until I feel out my new job and/or scope out the area.

4. What will you do differently in 08?
Date, like for reals! Like go out to dinners and stuff. Be wined and dined. And not by sucky people.

5. New Years resolution?
I very much don't like resolutions.... that said, I really need to get my IRA going (I know, I know!)

6. What will you not be doing in 08?
Hmm....well...at the rate that my (nonexistent) love life is going....

7. Any trips planned?
Yes! To Deutschland in the spring, to Various States for interviews in JanFeb (I hope), and a possible road trip with Mr. Bear after we both get doctored (teehee!) from LargeU and WarmU, respectively.

8. Wedding plans?
Gah, I hope not. Certainly not my own. I've got at least until 35....or was it 28?) before I invoke Back-up Marriage Plan with Mr. Bear.

9. Major thing on your calendar?
Thesis defense! Becoming Dr. Reaction!

10. What can’t you wait for?
To graduate.

11. What would you like to see happen differently?
Hmmm....not really sure.

12. What about yourself will you be changing?
I'll be going to church more. It's hard here in LargeUtown because people are either bible-beaters or eye-rollers. It's difficult to find middle ground.

13. What happened in 07 that you didn’t think would ever happen?
Teehee. I didn't think I'd be as introspective as I was.

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
(would anyone actually say no?) Of course.

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 07?
Absolutely. Somehow I don't think my usual hoodie-with-jeans look will fly in a TT position.

16. Will you start or quit drinking?
Heck no! I will maintain my social drinking status. :-)

17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
Yes. Dad and I are back to speaking (posts later, I'm sure)

18. Will you do charity work?
I'll continue to do science volunteering and donate to my favorite charities.

19. Will you go to bars?
I'm a grad student, aren't I?

20. Will you be nice to people you don’t know?
Of course! I'm a southern gal, after all! (Didja guess that one??)

21. Do you expect 08 to be a good year for you?
yes.

22. How much did you change from this time last year till now?
A lot! I've become ready to get my Ph.D. and move on to the next phase in my life. This time last year, I really didn't think I'd be ready to leave in 2008. I've also improved the balance between work and play. I'm still a semi-neurotic workaholic, but I sometimes take Sundays off.

23. Do you plan on having a child?
OMG, no! Not that there would be a possibility, if the last bit of 07 is any indication (see #6).

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
Yes, but I don't classify casual relationships as friendships. So those that are friends (vs. the bazillion LargeUtown "acquaintances"...like people that I'll drink with, watch football with, etc etc but not housesit for or drive to nearby state airport)

25. Major lifestyle changes?
Hopefully a faculty teaching job. Preferably somewhere warm. Possible big purchases: new car.

26. Will you be moving?
yessssssss!

27. What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 08 that happened in 07?
I'm going to take more vacation time. In 2007, I took six days off in the summer to travel to central america, and nine days off for Christmas. That is not. cool. Already for 2008, I will be traveling home twice in the spring for graduations and going to Germany for a week. Post-LargeUtown, I hope to do a wine country trip and a possible road trip to the Dakotas....but those depend on Mr. Bear.

28. What are your New Years Eve plans?
Not sure. Definitely football with champagne. Beyond ~10:30 remains to be determined.

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
Not anyone I know, unless there will be a midnight surprise visit to LargeUtown....but I dislike surprises.

30. One wish for 08?
Fall in love with someone in same zip code (say it with me now: awwwwwww).

If you decide to do this lovely meme, please let me know so I am sure to check it out! Happy 2008, all!


(yes, I am aware that I have excessively! used! exclamation points! in this post. Not sure why.