Grades are in. Many a celebratory beer has been consumed. Students are gone. Sure, some will be back in a few weeks for summer research, but for now things are quiet.
I've started packing up my office in anticipation of the move. Okay, so I'm not so much packing up yet as sorting through the embarrassingly high mounds of random papers. But still. The countdown to the relocation (and moving in with N.A.!) has begun. In less than a month, I'll be settling in to my new job.
PhDLadyBug over at Non tenured Assistant Professor has posed an interesting question about summer productivity. "What is your best advice to make the best out of the summer months?" She writes. By all means click on over and give your two cents; goodness knows that many of us will need more than just the luck of the chemistry gods to have a productive summer after THIS crazy semester.
Anyone else beyond burned out? I know that I'm going to need a LOT more chocolate cake (and beer) before I'll be feeling like getting some actual class prep or research accomplished.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Best grading motivation EVER.
How to get grading done efficiently
1. Record an episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8.*
2. Start episode.
3. Sit with pile of grading at nearby couch/table/floor.
4. Grade until the credits roll.
5. Repeat episode until grading is complete (or your eyes are bleeding).**
Good luck with all your last bits of grading! (for those of you on quarters, oh, I am so sorry for you)
*Yes, the first few episodes might be cute. But just wait. Wait for Kate's shrill harping to begin. Watch a seven year old have a tantrum (on, um, every episode) worthy of a three year old. Enjoy viewing Jon become more and more beat down.
**Extra bonus: the show is VERY effective birth control. It should come with a warning: might cause you to never, EVER want children. Or have sex. EVER again.
1. Record an episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8.*
2. Start episode.
3. Sit with pile of grading at nearby couch/table/floor.
4. Grade until the credits roll.
5. Repeat episode until grading is complete (or your eyes are bleeding).**
Good luck with all your last bits of grading! (for those of you on quarters, oh, I am so sorry for you)
*Yes, the first few episodes might be cute. But just wait. Wait for Kate's shrill harping to begin. Watch a seven year old have a tantrum (on, um, every episode) worthy of a three year old. Enjoy viewing Jon become more and more beat down.
**Extra bonus: the show is VERY effective birth control. It should come with a warning: might cause you to never, EVER want children. Or have sex. EVER again.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Special delivery
I love getting mail. I love books. So, as you can probably guess, I love getting new textbooks in the mail.
Since I'm still pretty new at this professor thing, my bookshelves are practically empty when compared with those of my colleagues. I have to seek out preview copies of texts I'm interested in, signing up for accounts with publishers or tracking down the often-elusive company representative. In contrast, my more senior colleagues get unsolicited boxes of textbooks every other week.
The packages don't just result in new editions of textbooks. They also bring out the textbook buyers. These are the guys that come around with their wheely-bags, poke their heads into every faculty office, and offer to buy back your unwanted preview copies of textbooks.
I always give the same response: "No, thank you. I don't sell back books." I actually *want* all the textbooks I've requested. I don't have double copies or newer editions of the same book. Although, to be honest, even when the day comes that my bookshelves are overflowing with unwanted textbooks, I'm still not sure I'll be comfortable with selling a free book.
Do you think it is okay for professors to sell preview copies of textbooks? If the copy was sent without being requested, does that make a difference? Do you sell back (or are planning on selling back) preview copies of textbooks? If not, what do you do with the redundant books?
Since I'm still pretty new at this professor thing, my bookshelves are practically empty when compared with those of my colleagues. I have to seek out preview copies of texts I'm interested in, signing up for accounts with publishers or tracking down the often-elusive company representative. In contrast, my more senior colleagues get unsolicited boxes of textbooks every other week.
The packages don't just result in new editions of textbooks. They also bring out the textbook buyers. These are the guys that come around with their wheely-bags, poke their heads into every faculty office, and offer to buy back your unwanted preview copies of textbooks.
I always give the same response: "No, thank you. I don't sell back books." I actually *want* all the textbooks I've requested. I don't have double copies or newer editions of the same book. Although, to be honest, even when the day comes that my bookshelves are overflowing with unwanted textbooks, I'm still not sure I'll be comfortable with selling a free book.
Do you think it is okay for professors to sell preview copies of textbooks? If the copy was sent without being requested, does that make a difference? Do you sell back (or are planning on selling back) preview copies of textbooks? If not, what do you do with the redundant books?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
On academic accommodations
If academic accommodations existed when I was in college, I wasn't aware of them. This year, each of my classes averaged 10% students with academic accommodations. Most of the given accommodations were extra time and/or quiet during quizzes and exams.
I happily oblige with any requested, documented accommodations. After all, I'm no learning disability expect, so who am I to decide how students learn (or demonstrate learning) best?
Not all of my colleagues are so..erm... accommodating when it comes to academic accommodations. Some refuse to allow students to take exams separate from the rest of the class, arguing that they have to make a new version of the exam (really???). Others don't understand that night exams can interfere with medications, such as ADD meds (I could go on and on about night exams, but I'll save that for another post).
I recently learned that one of my students who had struggled with finishing exams within time constraints all semester actually had academic accommodations. When I asked her why she failed to bring me the proper documentation (or even mention it, for that matter), she replied, "well, I won't get extra time in the real world, so why should I start now?"
I was quite taken aback by her answer. On one hand, she is right. I mean, will NIH be accepting notes regarding grant deadline accommodations any time soon? Can I shirk office hours by invoking my need for a quiet work environment?
So was my student being mature, and forward-thinking or should she have taken the allowed extra time?
I happily oblige with any requested, documented accommodations. After all, I'm no learning disability expect, so who am I to decide how students learn (or demonstrate learning) best?
Not all of my colleagues are so..erm... accommodating when it comes to academic accommodations. Some refuse to allow students to take exams separate from the rest of the class, arguing that they have to make a new version of the exam (really???). Others don't understand that night exams can interfere with medications, such as ADD meds (I could go on and on about night exams, but I'll save that for another post).
I recently learned that one of my students who had struggled with finishing exams within time constraints all semester actually had academic accommodations. When I asked her why she failed to bring me the proper documentation (or even mention it, for that matter), she replied, "well, I won't get extra time in the real world, so why should I start now?"
I was quite taken aback by her answer. On one hand, she is right. I mean, will NIH be accepting notes regarding grant deadline accommodations any time soon? Can I shirk office hours by invoking my need for a quiet work environment?
So was my student being mature, and forward-thinking or should she have taken the allowed extra time?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Reading between the (very marked up) lines
As the semester wraps up, I have a *lot* of grading to do. Let's play a little game.
I call it: What I Write / What I Mean
What I write: Fantastic job!!
What I mean: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your wonderful exam was the one bright spot in a day of bleak exams.
What I write: Units?!
What I mean: It pains me to acknowledge that you are so careless, lazy, and/or clueless that you failed to write down units with your answer. I am emphasizing this pain with extra punctuation.
What I write: Show work.
What I mean: I can't figure out how/why you wrote this answer. (Alternative meaning: I think you copied this answer off your neighbor's paper.)
What I write: Please look over, and make an appointment ASAP.
What I mean: You are failing. You are failing and seem not to know you are failing. Please come to my office so we can discuss this. Please don't cry.
I call it: What I Write / What I Mean
What I write: Fantastic job!!
What I mean: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your wonderful exam was the one bright spot in a day of bleak exams.
What I write: Units?!
What I mean: It pains me to acknowledge that you are so careless, lazy, and/or clueless that you failed to write down units with your answer. I am emphasizing this pain with extra punctuation.
What I write: Show work.
What I mean: I can't figure out how/why you wrote this answer. (Alternative meaning: I think you copied this answer off your neighbor's paper.)
What I write: Please look over, and make an appointment ASAP.
What I mean: You are failing. You are failing and seem not to know you are failing. Please come to my office so we can discuss this. Please don't cry.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I am living proof that...
...if your students make a wish on the very first crystal that appears in their test tubes, their wish will come true.
Apparently they were all wishing that I would come down with food poisoning* and be unable to finish their finals.
Of course, they underestimate my multitasking abilities: barf, write, blog, barf, calculate....
*Funny but true: of all the crap I ate today-- chocolate cake, chips, chocolates...I'm pretty sure it was a salad that did me in. I guess I should have stuck to sugar??
Apparently they were all wishing that I would come down with food poisoning* and be unable to finish their finals.
Of course, they underestimate my multitasking abilities: barf, write, blog, barf, calculate....
*Funny but true: of all the crap I ate today-- chocolate cake, chips, chocolates...I'm pretty sure it was a salad that did me in. I guess I should have stuck to sugar??
Friday, May 1, 2009
An open letter to my googlers
Dear googlers,
When you google "how to cheat with calculators" or for other cheating tips (like How To Fool That Bitch Professor), the post of mine that comes up is this one.
But really.
I know you are desperate, but are you that academically pathetic that you are googling how to cheat during finals week?*
GO STUDY!!!
Signed,
U. Reaction
*That was a rhetorical question.
When you google "how to cheat with calculators" or for other cheating tips (like How To Fool That Bitch Professor), the post of mine that comes up is this one.
But really.
I know you are desperate, but are you that academically pathetic that you are googling how to cheat during finals week?*
GO STUDY!!!
Signed,
U. Reaction
*That was a rhetorical question.
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