Students are out to get us!

...or at least that is how it feels sometimes.

Faced with a classroom full students armed with bored faces, armed with texting weapons, teaching can sometimes take an "us versus them" tone.


But just like professors aren't plotting against students, our classes don't meet in the dark of night to plan against us.


The Forbes article is an interesting read.  I wonder what the student version would include?

My winter break gift to you

I know that, ever since receiving my gift last year, you've anxiously awaited this year's shiny box.

And here it is...all wrapped up and virtually topped with a green-and-red bow:




Happy holidays!!  (You've probably seen this ages ago, but I think it is hilarious to re-visit it!)

Overheard in lecture...

When I'm setting up for lecture, I generally tune out the pre-bell banter.  This week, I picked the following gem out of the overall buzz:


"Hey, Student!  Why aren't you my facebook friend anymore?"

"Oh, I didn't unfriend you."

"What happened then?"

"I deactivated my Facebook account until after Dr. Reaction's test."



Such dedication to my class!

A message to all the new professors

It gets better.

Don't get me wrong; it isn't that things get easier.  Professors are still overworked and (especially at PUIs) underpaid.


But it does get better.


When I first started teaching, it took me about four hours (sometimes more!) to prepare a one-hour lecture.  Now my prep time is a third of that.  Sure, the "free" time is now filled with committee work, various meetings, and research.... but that sure beats staring at a textbook, willing everything to fall into place for the morning's lecture.


Today was one of those days where I surprised myself with how efficient I can be.  It's nice to have a measure of how far I've come since my first day on the job.  How do you measure your progress?

I'm going to go hide in my office now....

They're easy to spot.

They need a few minutes of quiet after getting in to work.  They might love teaching, but after a 60 minute lecture or two, they are drained--mentally and physically.  They might prefer to eat lunch alone to get some more energy before the next lecture or meeting.  They need time at home to recharge for the next day.


It's the introverted professors!!


(Raise your hand if you are utterly drained from your first day of classes....and not just because of your workload.)

Be Sure to Put the "U" in Scheduling

There's one truth about me that pretty much tells you everything you need to know:

I truly, deeply, genuinely enjoy writing up my semester's schedules.

I love inputing all the course due dates into my calendar, and I get a teeny, tiny thrill whenever I get my various courses' assignments to align (which takes just a little more manipulation than, say....getting all the planets to align).


But here is something that no one told me when I first started teaching.  You have to put yourself before the schedule.

Rather than just think about placement of assignment due dates--what is best for the students?-- it is important to think about how and when it is best for you to be grading the assignments (or exams).  The primary scheduling criterion I now consider is when will I want (and be able) to efficiently grade assignments.  Do I want to be grading on the weekend?  Do I really want my two different courses to generate 70+ exams at the same time?  Is it best to grade over holiday breaks, or would I rather get the grading done before my days off?

Perhaps these are really obvious considerations, but I sure wish someone had told me to think about ME when I planned out my syllabi schedules!!

At-bat songs for professors

Unfortunately, I've been watching a lot of baseball lately.  While I find the sport rather dull, I think there is one aspect of baseball that would really benefit our students: the at-bat song.

You know that moment when you first walk into the lecture room at the start of the semester?  Think about how many more orders of magnitude of awesomeness it would be if you were accompanied by 10 seconds of "Crazy Train!"


What would be your classroom at-bat song?

When your reputation precedes you

Once you get a reputation as a bad teacher, is there any way to change it?  Or are students always going to write you off from the beginning?

I have a colleague who has quite the reputation for being rude to students, unapproachable during office hours, and disorganized in the classroom. Students complain to me about him all the time (I just put on my I-support-my-colleagues face).  His ratemyprofessor is full of student rants and, truth be told, some fairly logical, well-supported complaints.  Students start the semester knowing his reputation, and I wonder if that fact alone is the biggest contributor to their low opinion of him-- not his actual actions in the classroom.

So is a frowny face on ratemyprofessor too much to overcome?  Are there any strategies that professors can employ to turn around a reputation?

Multiple choice exams: good, bad, or just ugly?

I survived Gradefest 2011.

Barely.

I clearly need to work on strategies to become more efficient at grading.  One (perhaps obvious) solution would be to implement multiple choice...  but I am not sure how I feel about multiple choice exams.

I am pretty sure how my students feel about them (we hatesssss it).


Are multiple choice final exams okay?  What about if you haven't given multiple choice exams throughout the semester?  Are there better ways to evaluate students that won't break the grading bank?

Are you an above average professor?

...or do you at least THINK you are?

I recently heard on CNN that 96% of college professors think they are above average teachers.

Ha, I thought.  I know I am above average.


But based on what?   I have student evaluations and peer evaluations that say I am above average.  But how do I *know* that I am above average if I don't get to see others' evaluations?


How do you know an above average prof from an average prof?  Or  (gulp!) a below average professor?

The assignment that will not die

This semester has been....ugh.

Grading has really gotten the best of me.  I generally grade in the evenings, and, by steadily plodding through, I have generally taken a week to get exams and assignments back.

But there is this one assignment that is piled in a precarious stack on the edge of my desk.


I've had this assignment on my desk for five weeks.   Five.  Weeks.  

Partly this is because this particular assignment is extremely tedious to grade.  (And I *have* returned graded work in the meantime.)


My students seem okay with this.  I think in part this is because are fairly understanding of the sheer amount of grading I have brought upon myself.

I have also heard that some other faculty only return an assignment after 8 weeks or not at all.


Jeez.  At least I'm not that bad.   [Yet.]



 I *have* to get this assignment back to my students this week, at least for my own peace of mind.  What is the longest you have taken to get graded work back to students?  What is an acceptable return range?

The syllabus stands alone

When a problem arises with a class, very frequently it can be traced back to the syllabus.  Without crystal clear course and grading policies, there can be wiggle room for students to complain about an eye-boggling array of course-related issues.

Some of my colleagues rely on syllabus amendments.  At some schools, you must have a class vote to make modifications to your syllabus.  Other institutions require department head or dean approval.

I don't make changes to my syllabi.  I ensure that they are air-tight by running them past colleagues, the head of the department, and faculty outside of my department.

I've learned from my syllabus mistakes from the past, and I haven't had any syllabus-related problems in the last year.  With some new preps for me on the horizon, we'll see if I can maintain that streak.

Why do students do THAT?

I do not understand why my students insist on calculating what minimum grade they need on the final to get X grade in my class.

Is this really motivating?

Does it actually help to know you need a 106% to get a C in the class?  If you only need an 86% to get an A, will you only study an 86% worth?  If you know there is no chance to pass/get an A/whatever, are you still going to be motivated to study?


Why do students do that?

'Twas the night before the exam...

It's less than twelve hours until the exam.

I shouldn't have checked my email.  It's the end of the semester; my blood pressure just can't handle it.



Prof. Reaction,


I'm sick so I can't take the exam tomorrow.  When can I re-take it?  I think I will feel better by Thursday.


Undergrad



I did what I suspect many of you would have done:  I logged out of my email, shut my laptop, and poured myself another glass of wine.


Cheers to the end of another semester!

You won't like all of your students

Perhaps this isn't shocking to you.

But when I was first told this at my first faculty orientation meeting, I was doubtful.  Sure, I had experienced unpleasant moments with students in the past, but I certainly didn't dislike any of them.  I am completely objective!  How could I dislike my students?  I will be the picture perfect fair and balanced professor.  I want to teach!  I live for teaching!  I will adore all of my students, and they will adore me!!


Ha.


Fast forward a few semesters.

Call me Professor Cranky, but there are several students that hang around the science complex that I just don't like.  The funny thing is that none of them are currently in my classes.  I guess that is fortunate.

I have no doubts that if I were to have some of these "special personalities" in a future class that I would be completely objective.  But I certainly won't complain if some of these kids hurry up and graduate.

Adjusting expectations at a PUI

I'm a tenure track professor at a predominately undergraduate institution (PUI).  Current grad students often ask me what's the most important thing I've learned about my job.  In my opinion, the most helpful thing I've learned in my first two years here is to adjust expectations.

I've adjusted my expectations about scholarship.  With my undergraduates only spending four to six hours a week on research, I have had to recalibrate with respect to research productivity.  Research tasks that would take me a week to accomplish might take my students all semester.  I don't anticipate submitting a paper before June.

I have also lowered my expectations about the strength of incoming students.  I've found that I can't take for granted that my freshmen are coming into college with the math and writing skills that I would expect.  More time is taken in the first semester to bring all students up to speed on written communication and problem solving.  Would it be awesome to just teach to the top 10% of my class?  Of course.  Would it get me tenure?  I doubt it.

Perhaps the biggest adjustment is to the state of funding.  My start up funds were not too terrible, but I can't bank them for next year.  I have to spend everything up and just hope I can get enough preliminary results to warrant a Big Funding Agency to decide that I deserve to be in the special top 13% group (or whatever the funding line is).  There are essentially no internal funds here, so I have to get outside funding.  This is a daunting enough of a task at a research institution, let alone at a PUI.  And so I've learned to not be surprised by the lack of internal and external funds here.  What if I run out of money next year?  Me stressing about the worst case scenario certainly won't help my undergrads be more productive.  All I can do is keep truckin'.



Now, should I passively accept subpar students or a paucity of funding?  Of course not.

But it certainly helps me maintain my sanity if I can adjust my expectations for the time being.

They're out to get me!

...or so claim my students.


We're at midterms.  A few things are guaranteed to happen.


1.  Advisees will cry in my office.  Daily.

2.  Coworkers will beat the photo copier into submission.  Daily.

3.  Students will claim there is a Great Professor Conspiracy (GPC).


Oooo!  A conspiracy, you say?

Didn't you know that all professors meet, pre-classes, to decide to put exams all on the same day?  No?  You didn't know that all professors not only meet to decide this, but actually ENJOY the pain that this inflicts upon their students?


Yeah.  So this is what a small group of students claim every year.  I'm sure you have some students that propose a similar GPC.  ....right?

The Undergraduate Writing Process

This is EXACTLY how my students write their papers:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Is my course prep normal?

When I started teaching, it took me four to six hours to prep a brand new lecture. Intro or not. No one told me if this was reasonable, but then again, I certainly didn't ask. I was exceptionally embarrassed by the sheer amount of time I spent before each 60 minute lecture.

I've since taught my intro class several times, but I still spend between 60-90 minutes on prep. Mostly I have ppt slides already prepared from previous years, but I still work out example problems for board work. I also usually need to make minor changes to slides for various reasons (new idea, new problems book, etc.) My upper level classes typically take three to five hours to prep. Still. Good grief.

My last post was a poll that inquired about your lecture prep time. Many of you clarified in the comments section about the different time requirements of different types of class preparations. Thank goodness for the clarifications, especially since my sweet CPP declared that the "poll makes no sense." (Love ya, CPPy! Is baseball season over yet?)

Many of you, I'm sure are faster at class prep. (I'm looking at you, GMP and Dr. Pion! And thanks for your enlightening posts!)

I want to work with JaneB! Care to join me, Namnezia and pika? JaneB wrote,

"My department has a workload model. It assumes 6 hours of prep time per new classroom hour and 2 hours per old (i.e. repeated) classroom hour, which is a general average across the whole (highly interdisciplinary) department."

That's pretty darn close to my current course prep times. Maybe I should think about relocating?

Question for you: how much do you prep?