Last year, I found graduation to be a wonderful end to the year. The music was inspiring, and I enjoyed watching my students achieve this milestone. I was terribly sad to let them go. I thought fondly on my favorite times in college. I was happy for them.
This year, the ceremony couldn't end fast enough. I wanted them to leave. I didn't think fondly back on my own college experiences. I was indifferent.
I don't know if it's because it's not my first time at the rodeo, I'm unhappy with my job, or I'm just burned out. (Or perhaps it's a combination of all three?)
Will my affection for graduation ever return?
Showing posts with label graduation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label graduation. Show all posts
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Saturday, May 30, 2009
go-to questions
I'm at that really awkward stage of packing where I'm not quite living out of boxes but I'm not living in a normal apartment either.
My tiny apartment has exploded-- half-packed boxes cover every available floor space of the kitchen/living room and drawers are pulled halfway open, serving as a constant reminder of how much I still have to pack. Of course, everyone around here keeps asking how the packing is going. It's the new go-to question. Of course, this makes me think back to various go-to questions for different stages of life. You know, the question that you get asked several to dozens of times a day. The question to which you might not have an answer, or maybe you have a five sentence spiel memorized since you have to spout off dozens of times a day. When the former is the case, it only drives home the underlying message: that you are stuck in place and need to move forward.
Let's take a walk down go-to question lane:
senior year, high school: So, where are you going to college?
senior year, college: What are you doing next year?
first year, grad school: What research group are you going to join?
fourth year, grad school: When are you going to start writing?
fourth and a half year, grad school: What are you doing next year?
first year, visiting ass.: How are classes going?
first year, visiting ass.: What are you doing next year? (from faculty)
first year, visiting ass.: You're leaving? What would you want to leave (from students)
Luckily for me, I do have a job for the fall, so those last questions have an answer. I can move on from this visiting ass. position.
I can already anticipate the go-to questions from my future colleagues: How does this place compare to TempCollege?
What go-to questions have you encountered?
scientiae-carnival
My tiny apartment has exploded-- half-packed boxes cover every available floor space of the kitchen/living room and drawers are pulled halfway open, serving as a constant reminder of how much I still have to pack. Of course, everyone around here keeps asking how the packing is going. It's the new go-to question. Of course, this makes me think back to various go-to questions for different stages of life. You know, the question that you get asked several to dozens of times a day. The question to which you might not have an answer, or maybe you have a five sentence spiel memorized since you have to spout off dozens of times a day. When the former is the case, it only drives home the underlying message: that you are stuck in place and need to move forward.
Let's take a walk down go-to question lane:
senior year, high school: So, where are you going to college?
senior year, college: What are you doing next year?
first year, grad school: What research group are you going to join?
fourth year, grad school: When are you going to start writing?
fourth and a half year, grad school: What are you doing next year?
first year, visiting ass.: How are classes going?
first year, visiting ass.: What are you doing next year? (from faculty)
first year, visiting ass.: You're leaving? What would you want to leave (from students)
Luckily for me, I do have a job for the fall, so those last questions have an answer. I can move on from this visiting ass. position.
I can already anticipate the go-to questions from my future colleagues: How does this place compare to TempCollege?
What go-to questions have you encountered?
scientiae-carnival
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Post-semester letdown?
I've heard that actors experience a huge letdown (some call it depression) after a play ends. Since teaching a class is a production onto itself, I shouldn't have been that surprised that I would have similar feelings after the semester concluded.
Don't agree that a college class is analogous to something seen on the The Great White Way? Consider this: the students are our audience (although hopefully more participatory than a typical Broadway crowd), lecture notes serve as a script, the professor (ME) is constantly performing, improvisation is often frequently employed, and, if things go particularly well, you can receive rave reviews.
In the week after the semester ended, I was too exhausted to think about anything but GET ME SLEEP. After a few nights of 10 solid hours of sleep, I was feeling myself again...almost. Something was a little off. I don't know if it was because I felt guilt for not working as much as during the semester (so in my office from 8:30 am to 10:00 pm and then more grading from 10:30 pm until at least 12:30 am) or sadness because I knew I would never see these students again, but I felt really off.
Is this a normal feeling to experience after the academic year ends? Is it just because it was my first year and so I'm seeing my first graduation, or is this something that will happen ever year?
Don't agree that a college class is analogous to something seen on the The Great White Way? Consider this: the students are our audience (although hopefully more participatory than a typical Broadway crowd), lecture notes serve as a script, the professor (ME) is constantly performing, improvisation is often frequently employed, and, if things go particularly well, you can receive rave reviews.
In the week after the semester ended, I was too exhausted to think about anything but GET ME SLEEP. After a few nights of 10 solid hours of sleep, I was feeling myself again...almost. Something was a little off. I don't know if it was because I felt guilt for not working as much as during the semester (so in my office from 8:30 am to 10:00 pm and then more grading from 10:30 pm until at least 12:30 am) or sadness because I knew I would never see these students again, but I felt really off.
Is this a normal feeling to experience after the academic year ends? Is it just because it was my first year and so I'm seeing my first graduation, or is this something that will happen ever year?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Graduation: undergrads vs. overgrads
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success." ~ Robert Orben
As you, dear readers, already know, a few weeks ago I participated in my PhD graduation ceremony. Here at LargeU, we can just participate in our departmental ceremonies, which cuts down the numbers from several thousand graduates to <100.
Not that it felt like any less when we were all jammed into the hot, stinky bowels of the theater for lineups. And by "we" I mean all of the chemistry undergrads, those that mastered out, and the PhDers (aka the "overgrads").
Surprisingly, the undergraduates were on their best behavior (way to get alphabatized!), while it was we PhDers that were the troublemakers. Actually, in retrospect, I think that the undergrads' stellar behavior-- a stark contrast to their usual loud and stickiness on the buses, in the student center, or sprawled half-naked on the campus lawns-- had more to do with their bewilderment at our frilly gowns (what's with all the velvet?), extra accessories (silk hoods are so in this Ph.D. season), and uncharacteristically good spirits (grad students are not known for their sunny dispositions).
So while the undergrads all dutifully stood in their line, on the other side of the hall we were all hamming it up. Contraband cameras (we weren't supposed to carry anything into the ceremony except for our hoods-- thank goodness for giant doctorate sleeves!) flashed as we all darted in and out of line to snap photos. Eventually the departmental staff gave up; I think they knew that once they bellowed "let's go!" we'd all come to attention.
If you had asked me five years ago (okay....4.75) if I would be participating in my PhD graduation, I would have rolled my eyes. But I'm really glad that I walked and got hooded. It was a lovely capstone to years of insanely hard work, and it was awesome to have my family there to cheer me on. It didn't hurt that N.A. graduated with me, too.
As you, dear readers, already know, a few weeks ago I participated in my PhD graduation ceremony. Here at LargeU, we can just participate in our departmental ceremonies, which cuts down the numbers from several thousand graduates to <100.
Not that it felt like any less when we were all jammed into the hot, stinky bowels of the theater for lineups. And by "we" I mean all of the chemistry undergrads, those that mastered out, and the PhDers (aka the "overgrads").
Surprisingly, the undergraduates were on their best behavior (way to get alphabatized!), while it was we PhDers that were the troublemakers. Actually, in retrospect, I think that the undergrads' stellar behavior-- a stark contrast to their usual loud and stickiness on the buses, in the student center, or sprawled half-naked on the campus lawns-- had more to do with their bewilderment at our frilly gowns (what's with all the velvet?), extra accessories (silk hoods are so in this Ph.D. season), and uncharacteristically good spirits (grad students are not known for their sunny dispositions).
So while the undergrads all dutifully stood in their line, on the other side of the hall we were all hamming it up. Contraband cameras (we weren't supposed to carry anything into the ceremony except for our hoods-- thank goodness for giant doctorate sleeves!) flashed as we all darted in and out of line to snap photos. Eventually the departmental staff gave up; I think they knew that once they bellowed "let's go!" we'd all come to attention.
If you had asked me five years ago (okay....4.75) if I would be participating in my PhD graduation, I would have rolled my eyes. But I'm really glad that I walked and got hooded. It was a lovely capstone to years of insanely hard work, and it was awesome to have my family there to cheer me on. It didn't hurt that N.A. graduated with me, too.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Blogger, interrupted
My recent absence from the blogosphere is due to a wicked combo of graduation festivities and a much needed vacation abroad. I'll be back to the States next week.
Posts to look out for:
* Key observations of and reactions to all that is the PhD graduation
* Interactions with The Boss post-doctoring
* Thoughts on why I am pro-drugging children (note I did not say infants) on trans-Atlantic flights
Hope all is well with you! I look forward to catching up on your blogs once I'm back home to my steady internet, scattered sleep, and semi-crappy food!
Posts to look out for:
* Key observations of and reactions to all that is the PhD graduation
* Interactions with The Boss post-doctoring
* Thoughts on why I am pro-drugging children (note I did not say infants) on trans-Atlantic flights
Hope all is well with you! I look forward to catching up on your blogs once I'm back home to my steady internet, scattered sleep, and semi-crappy food!
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